This book is written for men, but there are so many things in it relevant to a woman and her issues, too! So much good stuff. My roommate Megan bought it and after she read it, she let me borrow it, and I am so glad! I feel like my faith and my understanding of men and how they interact have grown by leaps and bounds. Also, a strange thing happened while I was working my way through it...Every time I opened it, I felt a sense of joyous anticipation, and then, almost every time I put it down, I felt depressed. After the high wore off from reading whatever truth I absorbed that day, I felt a spiritual attack! When I realized what was going on, I knew I must be onto something. This became especially clear when I read the section on spiritual warfare. In Chapter Nine (A Battle to Fight: The Strategy), John Eldredge tells a story of a church staff meeting he attended: "A friend of mine raised the suggestion that some of the difficulties they were facing might be the work of the Enemy. 'What do you think?' he asked. 'Well, I suppose that sort of thing does happen,' one of the other pastors replied. 'In the Third World, perhaps, or maybe to thwart a major crusade. You know...places where cutting-edge ministry is going on.'" Wow! As if that is not enough of a blow, John then goes on to quote C.S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters, the letter in which the senior demon, Screwtape, advises his nephew Wormwood to keep his existence a secret from his human project. This, to me, was an eye-opener.
Another section that got me was the part regarding the false self, wherein John says, "Too many Christians today are living in the old covenant. They've had Jeremiah 17:9 drilled into them and they walk around believing my heart is deceitfully wicked. Not anymore it's not. Read the rest of the book. In Jeremiah 33:3, God announces the cure for all that: 'I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.'" Why is it so easy to forget that? Why is it so hard, sometimes, to forgive ourselves after God has forgiven us? This is one of my constant battles, and when I take it to Him, He gives me peace...if I let Him. In a paraphrase of John Eldredge's words, we are involved in a civil war between our true selves, the part that reaches for God and His desires, and the false self, the sinner who pulls us down when we give in to him (or her). This was a revelation for me, and I hope it touches someone reading it.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Capstone
I keep thinking of ideas for this blog when I'm in Sunday School or church...good thing my mom handed out paper for notes this morning. We read Psalm 118 out loud, and then to ourselves in silence, and verse 22 stuck out to me: "The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone." I immediately thought of David, the youngest (and physically least impressive) son, becoming the king of Israel for the glory of God. My second thought was of Jesus, who quoted this verse in Matthew 21:42 to refer to himself--rejected by humans, killed and then glorified to become our high priest. Another cool aspect of this verse is that it can apply to us. When I think of my past I cringe; my sins are awful and they still cut me deep, when I allow myself to feel guilty over them. These words remind me that, even when people might not be able to look past those sins to see who God is turning me into, God himself is willing to work through me and keep changing me even when I mess up every day.
Others in Jesus' genealogy sound like Psalm 118:22 applies to them, too. Tamar, ignored by her father-in-law, resorted to acting like a temple prostitute to get pregnant, and then married him; Rahab was born a Gentile and was saved from death by harboring spies; Ruth slept at Boaz' feet to coerce him to marry her, and was born a Moabitess. Also, the first Christian missionary was a Samaritan woman who was a social outcast in her own town. If God used all these people, anyone has a chance!
This got me thinking about humility. It's hard sometimes for me to be truly humble instead of ripping into myself and constantly being critical of myself and others--this is my thorn, and God's healing it. in The Screwtape Letters, C. S. Lewis discusses the delicate balance between humility and pride (at being so humble). If you're not familiar with the book, the premise involves a senior demon, Screwtape, addressing his nephew Wormwood on how to send his assigned human to hell. In one chapter, Screwtape advises Wormwood to send his human prideful thoughts of how humble he is, and what a good Christian he is, how much worse the sins are of those around him, etc. Until recently, I was unsure what the true definition of humbleness was, but now I understand it to mean focusing on the fact that, although I have flaws as everyone does, God created me and that means I'm beautiful--and I need to listen to Him to be as beautiful as He wants me to be. My beauty comes from Him and His instruction. When I commune with God and I obey Him, I actually gain more self-confidence, so I've come to think of humbleness and self-confidence as going hand in hand. Does that make any sense?
Others in Jesus' genealogy sound like Psalm 118:22 applies to them, too. Tamar, ignored by her father-in-law, resorted to acting like a temple prostitute to get pregnant, and then married him; Rahab was born a Gentile and was saved from death by harboring spies; Ruth slept at Boaz' feet to coerce him to marry her, and was born a Moabitess. Also, the first Christian missionary was a Samaritan woman who was a social outcast in her own town. If God used all these people, anyone has a chance!
This got me thinking about humility. It's hard sometimes for me to be truly humble instead of ripping into myself and constantly being critical of myself and others--this is my thorn, and God's healing it. in The Screwtape Letters, C. S. Lewis discusses the delicate balance between humility and pride (at being so humble). If you're not familiar with the book, the premise involves a senior demon, Screwtape, addressing his nephew Wormwood on how to send his assigned human to hell. In one chapter, Screwtape advises Wormwood to send his human prideful thoughts of how humble he is, and what a good Christian he is, how much worse the sins are of those around him, etc. Until recently, I was unsure what the true definition of humbleness was, but now I understand it to mean focusing on the fact that, although I have flaws as everyone does, God created me and that means I'm beautiful--and I need to listen to Him to be as beautiful as He wants me to be. My beauty comes from Him and His instruction. When I commune with God and I obey Him, I actually gain more self-confidence, so I've come to think of humbleness and self-confidence as going hand in hand. Does that make any sense?
Friday, March 26, 2010
Friends
Okay, so this isn't as deep as my previous couple of posts...but I just wanted to come on here and say that my friends are awesome. Without such an amazing support system, I wouldn't be where I am, or who I am. God has blessed me so much!
I realized yesterday and today that I've been taking some of my friends for granted, and mourning the loss of those who are going away (or have already gone). I see this as a continuing problem, a cycle I want to break. So, right now, I'm thanking God for all of you and for the time we have together, and I'm going to make a concerted effort not to think of all the time we DON'T have.
Thank you all for your love and wonderful company!
I realized yesterday and today that I've been taking some of my friends for granted, and mourning the loss of those who are going away (or have already gone). I see this as a continuing problem, a cycle I want to break. So, right now, I'm thanking God for all of you and for the time we have together, and I'm going to make a concerted effort not to think of all the time we DON'T have.
Thank you all for your love and wonderful company!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Reconciliation, Continued
I found the papers I wanted to use yesterday! Yay! My notes from Sunday School, more specifically. These are the guidelines I tried to follow when I sent that email yesterday.
8 Potential Problems (for Reconciliation):
1) Pride--what's wrong with me?
2) Fault-finding--list of everything wrong with them
3) Avoidance--ignore the problem and it will go away
4) Silence
5) Isolation--no one understands, and I'm all alone
6) Unfaithfulness--gossip or betrayal of the other person
7) Hopelessness--God can't work through this
8) Resentment
I've done all of these! When I'm not communicating with God, I still revert to the resentment I felt when certain people in my life wronged me. But the truth is, I was part of the problem, too. It was tough to follow the guidelines for apology: 1) don't make excuses, 2) accept full responsibility. In Sunday School, we also discussed "I'm sorry, but..." apologies--worse than not saying anything at all.
Some "Dos:"
1) Listen without interrupting
2) Try to see the other person's POV
3) Repeat back: "I hear you saying this. Is that correct?"
4) Use encouraging words
5) Be respectful, even if they're not (this one's really hard!)
6) Realize you can only change yourself
7) Be at peace, knowing the Prince of Peace is in you
Some "Don'ts:"
1) Forget they're also God's creation
2) Harbor anger, bitterness or hatred
3) Use "you" statements ("You do this all the time--I hate that," etc)
4) Get into a useless argument
5) Expect immediate change
6) Assume reconciliation is possible
Here are some verses that go along with the theme:
Romans 12:18
Psalm 103:6-14, 133:1
Proverbs 6:2-3, 16:7, 17:27
Matthew 5:44-48
1 Corinthians 1:10
Philippians 2:3, 4:2
Colossians 3:2, 13
Surprise! In the early church, people fought and had to reconcile. Some of these are really comforting.
8 Potential Problems (for Reconciliation):
1) Pride--what's wrong with me?
2) Fault-finding--list of everything wrong with them
3) Avoidance--ignore the problem and it will go away
4) Silence
5) Isolation--no one understands, and I'm all alone
6) Unfaithfulness--gossip or betrayal of the other person
7) Hopelessness--God can't work through this
8) Resentment
I've done all of these! When I'm not communicating with God, I still revert to the resentment I felt when certain people in my life wronged me. But the truth is, I was part of the problem, too. It was tough to follow the guidelines for apology: 1) don't make excuses, 2) accept full responsibility. In Sunday School, we also discussed "I'm sorry, but..." apologies--worse than not saying anything at all.
Some "Dos:"
1) Listen without interrupting
2) Try to see the other person's POV
3) Repeat back: "I hear you saying this. Is that correct?"
4) Use encouraging words
5) Be respectful, even if they're not (this one's really hard!)
6) Realize you can only change yourself
7) Be at peace, knowing the Prince of Peace is in you
Some "Don'ts:"
1) Forget they're also God's creation
2) Harbor anger, bitterness or hatred
3) Use "you" statements ("You do this all the time--I hate that," etc)
4) Get into a useless argument
5) Expect immediate change
6) Assume reconciliation is possible
Here are some verses that go along with the theme:
Romans 12:18
Psalm 103:6-14, 133:1
Proverbs 6:2-3, 16:7, 17:27
Matthew 5:44-48
1 Corinthians 1:10
Philippians 2:3, 4:2
Colossians 3:2, 13
Surprise! In the early church, people fought and had to reconcile. Some of these are really comforting.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Happy Sunday!
Today, as I thought about how I've been looking forward to every Sunday since Ash Wednesday, boot camp Sundays came to my mind. I mentioned before that I gave up caffeine, a very difficult sacrifice for me to make (there's a lot more blood in my caffeinestream than before I gave it up...). I was accustomed to having at least one cup of coffee on weekends, and one cup of coffee and either an additional cup or a soda with caffeine later in the day, and the first couple of weeks I think my roommates were very tolerant of my crankiness. As a result of this difficult change, I look forward to Sundays as the day of rest, and therefore the breaking of the fast for the purpose of celebrating Christ's resurrection from the dead. By this I mean I enjoy a cup of coffee every Sunday--and this does not count as breaking my vow.
In fact, I anticipate Sundays now almost half as much as I did in boot camp, because even then they were a day of rest. All week we endured physical training, classes, shouting and punishment for tiny mistakes--even rationed bathroom breaks, which was difficult considering the copious amounts of water the exercise required us to drink every day. Sundays, however, groups of us were marched to church. The Protestant service was first, and the Catholic service was directly afterward. When all of the Protestants marched back to the squad bay, we joined in the field day (rigorous cleaning) that was, by then, halfway done, before going to noon chow (lunch). Sundays, we also got a chance to wash our hair and shower longer than we could the rest of the week. As you're reading this, it probably seems like a small luxury, but the common view of a recruit is centered around chow and Sundays. As long as we made it to Sunday, we could endure the rest of the week: it was our goal. We also got a chance to write a long letter home.
As Easter nears, I'm finding it a little easier to think of it as a goal than a fast. The boot camp comparison is becoming more and more obvious--as I got further along in my training and as I get closer to Easter, it's easier to see the end in sight and feel a sense of accomplishment as well as recognizing Christ's sacrifice for me (as I felt I was sacrificing in boot camp--my previous life was gone, and my Spartan existence was difficult and forced me to rely on frienships with other recruits).
I have one more topic: reconciliation. This was the focus of my mother's Sunday School lesson today, and God gave me a practical application I've been ignoring for over a year. He told me to contact my ex-boyfriend and ask his forgiveness for how I treated him. Despite the fact that this man hurt me deeply and I still carry emotional scars and feel relationally crippled, I realize now that it takes two to make or break a relationship, and it was NOT all his fault. I'm writing this here because I hope it will keep me accountable--the best intentions are worthless without followup. One of the "don'ts" my mom put on the white board was "avoidance," and I'm too familiar with that unsuccessful tactic. Another is "fault-finding," which I've been using since we broke up...you can guess how well that has worked. Another "don't" is "expect immediate change." So I'm going to try to do this without expecting him to reply, and accepting the possibility that he might respond negatively. Here goes.
In fact, I anticipate Sundays now almost half as much as I did in boot camp, because even then they were a day of rest. All week we endured physical training, classes, shouting and punishment for tiny mistakes--even rationed bathroom breaks, which was difficult considering the copious amounts of water the exercise required us to drink every day. Sundays, however, groups of us were marched to church. The Protestant service was first, and the Catholic service was directly afterward. When all of the Protestants marched back to the squad bay, we joined in the field day (rigorous cleaning) that was, by then, halfway done, before going to noon chow (lunch). Sundays, we also got a chance to wash our hair and shower longer than we could the rest of the week. As you're reading this, it probably seems like a small luxury, but the common view of a recruit is centered around chow and Sundays. As long as we made it to Sunday, we could endure the rest of the week: it was our goal. We also got a chance to write a long letter home.
As Easter nears, I'm finding it a little easier to think of it as a goal than a fast. The boot camp comparison is becoming more and more obvious--as I got further along in my training and as I get closer to Easter, it's easier to see the end in sight and feel a sense of accomplishment as well as recognizing Christ's sacrifice for me (as I felt I was sacrificing in boot camp--my previous life was gone, and my Spartan existence was difficult and forced me to rely on frienships with other recruits).
I have one more topic: reconciliation. This was the focus of my mother's Sunday School lesson today, and God gave me a practical application I've been ignoring for over a year. He told me to contact my ex-boyfriend and ask his forgiveness for how I treated him. Despite the fact that this man hurt me deeply and I still carry emotional scars and feel relationally crippled, I realize now that it takes two to make or break a relationship, and it was NOT all his fault. I'm writing this here because I hope it will keep me accountable--the best intentions are worthless without followup. One of the "don'ts" my mom put on the white board was "avoidance," and I'm too familiar with that unsuccessful tactic. Another is "fault-finding," which I've been using since we broke up...you can guess how well that has worked. Another "don't" is "expect immediate change." So I'm going to try to do this without expecting him to reply, and accepting the possibility that he might respond negatively. Here goes.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Proverbs and Things
I was reading Proverbs 11 (today's the 11th...go figure), and a couple of verses stuck out to me. One is pretty funny, the other a little sobering. The latter: "The Lord abhors dishonest scales, but accurate weights are his delight." Proverbs 11:1
This verse, the first of my quiet time for the day, reminded me that God judges everyone the same. Sometimes I find this concept comforting, as when I'm feeling down it's usually after I've sinned and I am caught up in remorse--usually at those times I start thinking I'm not good enough for God's love. And the truth is, I'm not. But he does anyway, like he loves everyone else, and will continue to love ALL of us no matter what. God loved Hitler.
The other side of the coin is the internal battle with scales: how we look at others, and subconsciously compare ourselves with them. I do this all the time! My point here is, it's unfair to look at someone else tripping up and condemn them for their imperfection and think, "At least I'm not ___________." It's also unfair to think, "Look how great she is. Why can't I look like that, or do what she's doing?" I'm not her, and she's not me, and no amount of wishing will make that true.
The funny verse I read: "Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion." Proverbs 11:22
The same verse in the Message: "Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful face on an empty head."
Isn't that great? I don't want to be the ring or the pig...such a weird simile! Still, the basic meaning gets through (even though the imagery is kind of crazy). Don't use your beauty for gain, or for any reason other than to glorify God. As a barista, it's easy to use being cute as a way to try for more tips, so some days I have to shake myself out of that mindset.
Wow, blogging is fun! Maybe when life slows down, I'll do it more often. Britney, I don't mean to invade your Proverbs space, it just came to me. :)
This verse, the first of my quiet time for the day, reminded me that God judges everyone the same. Sometimes I find this concept comforting, as when I'm feeling down it's usually after I've sinned and I am caught up in remorse--usually at those times I start thinking I'm not good enough for God's love. And the truth is, I'm not. But he does anyway, like he loves everyone else, and will continue to love ALL of us no matter what. God loved Hitler.
The other side of the coin is the internal battle with scales: how we look at others, and subconsciously compare ourselves with them. I do this all the time! My point here is, it's unfair to look at someone else tripping up and condemn them for their imperfection and think, "At least I'm not ___________." It's also unfair to think, "Look how great she is. Why can't I look like that, or do what she's doing?" I'm not her, and she's not me, and no amount of wishing will make that true.
The funny verse I read: "Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion." Proverbs 11:22
The same verse in the Message: "Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful face on an empty head."
Isn't that great? I don't want to be the ring or the pig...such a weird simile! Still, the basic meaning gets through (even though the imagery is kind of crazy). Don't use your beauty for gain, or for any reason other than to glorify God. As a barista, it's easy to use being cute as a way to try for more tips, so some days I have to shake myself out of that mindset.
Wow, blogging is fun! Maybe when life slows down, I'll do it more often. Britney, I don't mean to invade your Proverbs space, it just came to me. :)
Friday, March 5, 2010
I'm discovering this week exactly what my limitations are...I will definitely schedule my classes differently next semester! And try to make more time for friends. I've decided these things while stressing over a 1,000-word paper, making an appointment to check into my reserve unit, doing a whole unit (which includes a study guide with 5 sections, a quiz and a 200-word discussion using key terms from the study guide) on Pagan Rome, studying for a test on early American music, working over 20 hours, running almost every morning (not today--slept in till 5:30), and keeping up in Anatomy and Physiology. I found out the last few days that I didn't have much time to sleep...if there are typos in here, that's why, but I'm trying to pay close attention. :P
I just read Proverbs 5, and the verse 23 in the Message sounds like God is punching me in the eye: "Death is the reward of an undisciplined life; your foolish decisions trap you in a dead end." I feel like this is a dead end right now...anxiously looking forward to spring break. I know I can make it through, but I hope I remember this next time I'm trying to decide how much work I can do at once.
I just read Proverbs 5, and the verse 23 in the Message sounds like God is punching me in the eye: "Death is the reward of an undisciplined life; your foolish decisions trap you in a dead end." I feel like this is a dead end right now...anxiously looking forward to spring break. I know I can make it through, but I hope I remember this next time I'm trying to decide how much work I can do at once.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Coffee
Most of my friends know I gave up caffeine for Lent, and it's been a difficult road... Almost three weeks in, and still having a lot of trouble. This morning, when I thought of that picture with the caption, "I'm only as strong as the coffee I drink and the hairspray I use," my first thought was, I don't use hairspray, and I haven't had a cup of good coffee in weeks!
However, then I immediately remembered why I'm making this small sacrifice that is turning my life upside down: in order to remember what Jesus did for me. If he gave his life to save mine, why shouldn't I give up something important to me, even if it is only an addiction? Is it possible for me to give up selfishness, unrighteous anger, etc?
So I've been going to God with my problems a lot more (a lot more than barely ever is still better...). Also, my Bible studies have gotten better, as I've prayed about my headaches and cranky disposition. So, all around, it's been worth it.
However, then I immediately remembered why I'm making this small sacrifice that is turning my life upside down: in order to remember what Jesus did for me. If he gave his life to save mine, why shouldn't I give up something important to me, even if it is only an addiction? Is it possible for me to give up selfishness, unrighteous anger, etc?
So I've been going to God with my problems a lot more (a lot more than barely ever is still better...). Also, my Bible studies have gotten better, as I've prayed about my headaches and cranky disposition. So, all around, it's been worth it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
