Reconciliation, Continued

I found the papers I wanted to use yesterday! Yay! My notes from Sunday School, more specifically. These are the guidelines I tried to follow when I sent that email yesterday.

8 Potential Problems (for Reconciliation):
1) Pride--what's wrong with me?
2) Fault-finding--list of everything wrong with them
3) Avoidance--ignore the problem and it will go away
4) Silence
5) Isolation--no one understands, and I'm all alone
6) Unfaithfulness--gossip or betrayal of the other person
7) Hopelessness--God can't work through this
8) Resentment

I've done all of these! When I'm not communicating with God, I still revert to the resentment I felt when certain people in my life wronged me. But the truth is, I was part of the problem, too. It was tough to follow the guidelines for apology: 1) don't make excuses, 2) accept full responsibility. In Sunday School, we also discussed "I'm sorry, but..." apologies--worse than not saying anything at all.

Some "Dos:"
1) Listen without interrupting
2) Try to see the other person's POV
3) Repeat back: "I hear you saying this. Is that correct?"
4) Use encouraging words
5) Be respectful, even if they're not (this one's really hard!)
6) Realize you can only change yourself
7) Be at peace, knowing the Prince of Peace is in you

Some "Don'ts:"
1) Forget they're also God's creation
2) Harbor anger, bitterness or hatred
3) Use "you" statements ("You do this all the time--I hate that," etc)
4) Get into a useless argument
5) Expect immediate change
6) Assume reconciliation is possible

Here are some verses that go along with the theme:
Romans 12:18
Psalm 103:6-14, 133:1
Proverbs 6:2-3, 16:7, 17:27
Matthew 5:44-48
1 Corinthians 1:10
Philippians 2:3, 4:2
Colossians 3:2, 13

Surprise! In the early church, people fought and had to reconcile. Some of these are really comforting.